familypic
 
JessPlusMess

Limited Edition

Autographed Copy

Sunlight Burning at Midnight a memoir by Jessica Ronne

 

Subscribe to Blog

Your Name:
Your Email:

Search

Just some random, irrelevant, humorous, and hopefully inspiring musings on life, love, faith, widowhood, remarriage, adoption, blended families, caring for a handicapped child, mothering seven children, chickens, cooking, grief, over-coming grief, and everything else in between. Just Keep Livin!!
Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in Widow Stuff
I’m convinced that there are two ways I can look at my life. There’s nothing overly profound about this revelation which unraveled one evening while reading a book to my three year olds, a book about two very beloved and dear creatures that many children have grown to cherish, a Winnie the Pooh book but more specifically my thoughts arose through the antics of two of Pooh’s favorite sidekicks, his closest friends, Tigger and Eeyore.
WinnieThePoohWallpaper2800Image credit dan-dare.org

Tiger - full of life, vitality, energy, bounce and spunk. Everyone loves Tigger. Tigger is faced with different predicaments in his life but his voice always shouts back, “That’s ok buddy boy!” and he keeps on bouncing, and not only bouncing, but his bounces get higher and higher - ultimately closer to the Heavens. He acknowledges the negative circumstances that he faces but then moves forward by CHOOSING to focus his attention and energy on the positives.

In comparison to this loveable guy, there’s Eeyore. Eeyore really annoys me, probably because he goes against my entire life philosophy of “Just keep livin!”   Eeyore is king wallower, head hung low, full of a woe is me attitude, always looking for pity from everyone else around him. Eeyore, unlike Tigger, ONLY sees the negative. The negative becomes so large and all - encompassing that it clouds over any positive – to the point where in Eeyore’s mind there is nothing to be thankful for. This becomes his reality - his perception of life is shaped because of the cloud of negativity he has allowed to overtake his existence.

Bad circumstances will occur to every single person who walks upon this earth. There is no getting around it, as humans we are faced with hardships. It becomes our choice as to how we respond to those situations. When we wallow in sorrow and seek out attention for the negativity in our lives, we act like Eeyore. We create a huge cloud of darkness that hangs over every aspect of our lives, not allowing any sunlight to filter through for a glimpse of the blessing that still remains in spite of the difficulty. The act of wallowing according to the dictionary is to “live self -indulgently, revel, to wallow in sentimentality, to flounder about, move along or proceed clumsily or with difficulty.” This is exactly the way Eeyore lives his life, he self - indulgently moves about slowly, muttering woe is me comments, reveling in his own pain.

The concept of remembering, however, is a “recalling to the mind by an act or effort of memory; think of again” a very different trait than wallowing. When we remember something we acknowledge that it occurred, we are able to bring it to our memory and then in moving forward as a Tigger, we choose to find the silver lining, understanding the blessings of our life rather than focusing on the pain. In other words, we begin bouncing.  

Sad generally sells over joy, proof seen in any newspaper, most riddled with sad, tragic stories. It is human nature to fixate upon pain and suffering because it makes our own pain more bearable to know that there are others in the world floundering as much as we are.  There’s a lot of truth behind the saying, “Misery loves company” and it also tends to be in our nature to become envious when we recognize blessing and joys in others lives; especially when we don’t possess the same peace and joy in our own lives.

My son Caleb was recently reflecting on his late father’s death, commenting on a specific aspect of their relationship that he missed. It wasn’t a wallow moment, in fact, it was very much a remembering moment for in the same breath as his recollection he turned to me and said, “But I’m lucky because God gave me two good dads.”

If a ten year old has the ability to bounce after his late father’s death, I have to believe that most of us can as well.

Just keep livin!!

Latest Blogs

Follow Your Heart {And a Giveaway!}
I have four beautiful daughters ranging in age from 12 on down to 2: Mya, Mabel, Jada, and Annabelle.  Four hearts that I’ve been entrusted to nurture and care for. Four young ladies with strong wills and lots of estrogen. On the one hand, I love having four daughters.  I love watching them learn life skills and grow into their own personalities. I love crafting together and thinking about our future adventures when they’re grown; meeting up somewhere fun to shop till we drop or Ryan and I watching the grandbabies for the weekend so that they can get away with their husbands - goofy...
Continue Reading...
Brave and Beautiful.
One of the best aspects of being a blogger (even a very part time blogger) are the opportunities I have to review new book releases, and I am so excited about this recent opportunity to review Brave Beauty a devotional by Lynn Cowell; a beautiful inspirational book for the young girl in your life.  Brave Beauty encourages spiritual truths that girls of all ages need to hear and be reminded of on a consistent basis. Truths such as the appeal of inner beauty, boldly living your faith, being a friend to those in need, and putting your trust in God. Cowell gently guides the reader, chapter b...
Continue Reading...
Hope Prevails
I walked into the ultrasound room and felt the complete absence of warmth. No beauty relieved the coldness, no picture of a mother holding a child or a sunset over the water. Nothing to remind those who nervously waited of the potential for joy within the world. A large, heavyset woman poked with her stubby fingers at my thin, slightly rounded body. As the silence continued to descend, the air thick­ened with unspoken thoughts. I looked at this doctor, the expert I had been sent to, repeatedly trying to catch her eye, to shake her unmovable countenance. I wanted to see a glimpse of understandi...
Continue Reading...
Mother's Day Sale and Interview
Just a few items for consideration as you go about your week.   First - In honor of all of the wonderful mothers, grandmothers, and motherly figures in the world, I'm offering a Buy One / Get One 1/2 off sale on all autographed copies of Sunlight Burning at Midnight ordered here on the blog and also at Facebook/jessplusthemess.  It's the perfect time to buy one for yourself and then gift another to that special someone in your life. This sale will be honored all the way through to Mother's Day - May 14.  If you'd like the books sent to different ad...
Continue Reading...
Easter Memories 2017
One way we’ve been able to accomplish this desire is by peeling back many of the layers of what’s expected for a particular holiday and ask ourselves: A. Do we have the energy levels required to enjoy this activity (whatever it may be – elaborate meal, presentation, etc) or will this addition stress us out and if so, the activity needs to be eliminated or reconfigured to meet our current energy levels so that it doesn’t potentially hinder the true meaning of the holiday, and B. What simple traditions can we incorporate to ensure that our children are honoring whatever this holiday is truly a...
Continue Reading...
Two Beautiful Books, My Kid's Reactions, and a GIVEAWAY!
A few weeks ago I was offered the opportunity to review two recently released children's books, I’m Going to Give you a Bear Hug by Caroline Cooney / Illustrated by Tim Warnes and Bible Basics, A Baby Believer Counting Primer by Danielle Hitchen / Illustrated by Jessica Blanchard. 
Continue Reading...
Big Changes Are 'A Comin
Blessed but stressed has been our life motto for over three years now – ever since we made the decision to add an 8th child to our family. Some have raised questioning eyebrows with this decision, but we forged through, and we stand by the decision today as one of the best things we’ve done for our family, BUT we are tired and stretched about as thin as they come. Something about raising teenagers, and not sleeping because of a newborn, and then raising teenagers with a toddler who does finally sleep (PRAISE JESUS!) but never, ever, ever stops moving when she’s awake, and then there are the ...
Continue Reading...
Banana Chocolate Muffins
These are really, really good and really, really addicting so it's a good thing they have some health benefits or I'd feel really, really guilty after eating a few.  I usually make these for the kids breakfast because most days they're up at 6:00 am so they need something easy, filling, and tasty in their bellies. These always do the trick.  Banana Chocolate Muffins 3 ripe bananas. 2 cups flour½ cup maple syrup2 eggs1 tea baking soda1 tea baking powder½ tea salt2 TB coconut oil1 tea vanilla½ cup orange juice. 1 cup dark chocolate chips Mix the first 10 ingredients together. Stir i...
Continue Reading...
Pure Goodness Spaghetti Sauce
3-4 TB olive oil (depends on how much garlic and onions you add). 1 large onion chopped 4-5 TB finely chopped fresh garlic (You can add chopped celery as well if you want) Saute these three ingredients for a few minutes. Add 4 14 ounce cans of quality tomatoes (crushed or whole is fine - I like Carmelina brand) Add as much fresh spinach as the pot will hold. 4 TB Italian seasoning 1/4 cup maple syrup 1/4 cup red wine 2 cups of tomato juice (we make our own) Salt and pepper to taste Simmer all of this on low for an hour or two.  Turn heat off and blend all together with a han...
Continue Reading...
Marriage Pep Talk and a GIVEAWAY!
In my second marriage to Ryan I have valiantly attempted to right the wrongs that I naively produced in the first marital relationship. They say “ignorance is bliss,” and I suppose that I was ignorant the first time around; however, having my eyes wide open through a second opportunity has changed my perspective on life and love. A few of my initial struggles were cemented in my identity as a strong willed, first born, young wife, and often included a lack of respect towards my husband (I knew best, of course!), and one that goes hand in hand with the respect issue, a lack of grace. I usually...
Continue Reading...