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Sunlight Burning at Midnight a memoir by Jessica Ronne

 

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Just some random, irrelevant, humorous, and hopefully inspiring musings on life, love, faith, widowhood, remarriage, adoption, blended families, caring for a handicapped child, mothering seven children, chickens, cooking, grief, over-coming grief, and everything else in between. Just Keep Livin!!
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Ryan's found some inspiration in the past few weeks to write so I'm going to be sharing my blog with him, especially during the busy holiday season when I could certainly use the extra time to get stuff done around the house!  Who knows, maybe this will turn into ryanandjessplusthemess in time, hint, hint, honey...  He's had  a lot of thoughts lately on different subject matters, I know weird for a man, so I thought I'd share what he has to say once or twice a month.  Enjoy!

I’m a whiner. Most of us are whiners and complainers, never satisfied with what we have. I have found that the older I get, the more pessimistic I become. I used to be that crazy guy that always had a positive outlook on anything and everything to the point of being darn right annoying. Most people would have called me naïve or even childish and over time, I have learned my lesson so to speak. I’m not that person anymore, and I would give anything to have that frame of mind back. A child-like faith is much more difficult to embrace when we allow life to persuade us otherwise. Not only am I a whiner, but I’m also a hypocrite…that one stings even seeing it on the page. It hurts me because I despise my fellow hypocrites. I try not to be but I often look at myself in the mirror after judging someone elses weaknesses (or speck) only to recognize the log that is nearly blinding me. God has been convicting me of a number of things this last year and I have been restless and unsure of myself more than ever. He is greatest when we are weakest, right? I can put on a smile probably better than most even when my heart is beating out of my chest and I want to throw someone through a wall (I’m not talking about my wife, love you babe:) I am learning to share my emotions and feelings which is not an easy task for me because I have always buried them so deep I thought they could never come out. Jessica has been the lucky one to dig up these treasures and often suffer some of the repercussions. The worst part is it rarely has anything to do with her. Enough about my feelings… The latest news is no doubt directed at the Connecticut shooting. My heart aches for those families but as I caught up on all the news and reports I realized how ridiculous we “Christians” have become, and I admit that I am just as guilty as the next one. I read about gun control and laws that should have been passed and raising children better and more intense background checks and on and on and on. As I was reading all of the negative publicity, I probably looked like a bobble head. It makes me sick. I got so caught up with everyone else about whose fault it was I lost track of what was important. Children were lost, sisters and brothers, grand kids, nieces and nephews. I think the biggest question that believers and non-believers alike can agree on is “Where was God?” We can say “God Bless” all of them or like facebook statuses about putting God back in school or make sure and forward any uplifting messages that come our way but do we have an answer for such a tragedy? Don’t get me wrong, I know our country has done everything in its power to take “In God We Trust” away from us. Just remember, God hasn’t gone anywhere, He’s just waiting for us to screw our heads back on and probably wondering why He thought we could handle the freedoms we were given from Him or our founding fathers. I feel terrible for all of the families involved including the family of the shooter and more importantly the shooter himself. I don’t feel bad for those that were lost just those left behind. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that each of those children is in no pain and playing their innocent little hearts out in Heaven. I can’t say for sure about the teachers who paid the ultimate price, they were adults and they had to choose a side. As for the shooter, I have to assume he is in a much darker place and most would say it’s what he deserves. If you believe that, you’re right but be careful what you wish on him because there isn’t a single soul on earth that deserves to sit at the right hand of God. I am a sinner as well and I also don’t deserve what God has so graciously offered me and you and anyone else who is willing to accept His gift. Our world is lost, but it’s not hopeless. One evil being can destroy many innocent lives in this dark and fallen world but the God I serve redeems those who follow Him with an eternity of sunshine. Take heart, this life is just a glimpse but remember that your eternity is decided inside this small bubble in time. That’s my 2 cents:)
Just keep livin! 

Tagged in: Ramblings Ryan
Recent Comments - Show all comments
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous says #
    I have a suggestion. I love reading your blog, but sometimes it is hard to read, because it is so long and all the words start to
  • Jess+the Mess
    Jess+the Mess says #
    Good thought and yes, it could use some breaks! Thanks for the insight! Merry Christmas to you as wellJess

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