Recently I asked a few of my kids if they would answer some questions about blended families. They agreed. The four questioned were Caleb and Tate (13) Mya (11) and Mabel (9). My takeaways from the sessions were – Wow! They seem okay! As of now I don’t see extensive therapy in their foreseeable futures! Thank you Jesus! Given, they are youngerish, but at this point in their tender, little, lives, I think they are truly doing well.
I would strongly encourage other families (blended or not) to question your kids and make it fun and non-threatening. The answers might lighten your heart and encourage your soul.
What is a blended family?
Mabel – A big family
Caleb – two families that come together to form one whole family.
Tate-A mix of two families to form one big one.
Mya – Two families that come together.
How do you feel about being in a blended family?
Mabel – Good
Caleb – It’s sometimes it gets annoying but sometimes it can be really good. When you’re playing a big group activity it’s useful. But when you want to be alone it’s better to have a small family.
Tate-It can be fun but at times some people can be quite annoying.
Mya – It just feels normal.
How do you feel about having brothers and sisters that aren’t biologically your siblings?
Mabel – Good
Caleb – it’s kind of annoying. They don’t exactly think like I do always.
Tate – I don’t know.
Mya – It feels the same as having a normal family.
What is the hardest part about having a blended family?
Mabel – Being nice to my brothers
Caleb –Everyone always takes sides with things. Half the kids want one thing and the other half wants something different.
Tate-One side of the family takes sides up against the other side so there can be quite a few small fights. Also being nice
Mya – You have more people so you don’t get along as well.
What is the best part about having a blended family?
Mabel – Having a huge family
Tate-We can do big games like baseball football or soccer with only our family.
Caleb – You get to do a bunch of stuff that other people couldn’t do. Like we can have a big complex game or big group activities that normally require a lot of people.
Mya – You can make more money because when there aren’t as many people there aren’t as many messes (I’ve recently hired her to help with cleaning).
How did you feel when your mom and dad told you that there was going to be a new baby in the family?
Mabel – Amazing
Caleb – Really excited.
Mya – Excited.
How do you feel about the baby now?
Mabel – Good
Caleb – awesome
Mya – Glad she’s here.
Is there anything you wish you could change about your life right now?
Mabel – Me having a new teacher ( I think she misunderstood the question - she loves her new teacher)
Tate – Doing more things
Caleb – More freedom
Mya – No.
How did you feel when your new parent adopted you?
Caleb – It was pretty cool I mean I was something that I never thought would happen.
Mabel – I was little so I guess good.
Mya – It doesn’t exactly feel like anything.
Tate – Fine.
Do you ever think about the future with such a big family? What does that look like to you?
Mabel – My children can meet my sisters and brothers children.
Mya – I envision that we’ll all have our own families away somewhere. I’m not sure about Luke though.
Caleb – There’s going to be tons of aunts and uncles and cousins. That’s a good thing.
Tate – No clue.
What’s been the most difficult aspect of having a new parent?
Mabel – It’s kind of like, oh my dad died so now what and now you have a new dad. I was little so I don’t really remember.
Caleb – There aren’t any difficulties.
Mya – nothing really.
Tate – forgot to answer this question (and the next 3…)
Has your relationship with your new brothers and sisters grown deeper with time?
Mabel – All of them are real so I fight with all of them.
Mya – I feel like a normal family now.
Caleb – Besides knowing each other’s crushes and stuff …. NO.
Has your relationship with the new parent grown deeper with time?
Mabel – Good. My dad in Heaven spent more time with me because he didn’t have a garden. He (Ryan) just spends time in the garden.
Caleb – Yes, over time. We just bonded together more through fun stuff.
Mya – Yes, I think so. It’s just mom and dad.
Just keep livin!!