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Sunlight Burning at Midnight a memoir by Jessica Ronne

 

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Just some random, irrelevant, humorous, and hopefully inspiring musings on life, love, faith, widowhood, remarriage, adoption, blended families, caring for a handicapped child, mothering seven children, chickens, cooking, grief, over-coming grief, and everything else in between. Just Keep Livin!!

Who will be my husband in Heaven?

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We lay my 92 year old Grampa to rest tomorrow morning. He was my Gramma’s husband and she died one month ago.  He was overheard saying to a nurse about two weeks before his passing that he wanted to die and be with the love of his life, and he couldn’t wait to see heaven. A few weeks later he was granted his wish. They were truly an example of a Godly marriage.  Together for 62 years, they raised 4 boys together, pastored several churches hand in hand, and supported and prayed for eighteen grandchildren and 25 great grandchildren.  Together they modeled all the fruits of the spirit, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to anyone who was privileged to have known them.  In remembering their final days, I’ve recalled a few times I’ve been asked my opinion on whether or not I believe that we’ll be reunited in Heaven with our spouses.  I don’t believe that this will be the case for a few different reasons.  First, from a human perspective I would be a bit jealous thinking of my husband being reunited with his first wife in Heaven while I remained here on earth, alone and sad. Secondly, who would be my husband when we all made it there together?  Would I have to pick who I wanted to spend eternity with? Current husband or late husband? Would they duke it out for my hand in marriage?  Or would neither one of them want me at that point?  That would be a serious blow to my self- esteem! Although it’s a romantic thought for some, for others of us, in situations similar to mine, it’s a pretty horrific thought!  It seems like that sort of scenario would incur anger, jealousy, and bitterness, not things that I imagine being present in Heaven.  Biblically we are told, “And Jesus said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.  And in Luke 20:34-36 we read, “The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question,  saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh.  After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.” But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.
The key verse here is when Jesus speaks saying, “You are wrong…For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are LIKE angels in heaven.  The verse in Luke also reiterates how those who are resurrected from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore because they are EQUAL to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.  Matthew 22:30
A few things stand out to me about these verses. In both verses our resurrected bodies are compared to being LIKE and EQUAL to the angels.  In neither verse do we hear that we become angels as so many people would like to believe when their loved one dies.  How often do we as a society say something like, “Oh she’s an angel looking over you” or “You’ll always have an angel watching you from Heaven.”  These verses clearly state that this is not the case.  Our new bodies will resemble something like the angels, and perhaps this was the clearest example Christ could portray for our frail human minds to understand and comprehend.  Secondly, I find it interesting that in Luke it states that when a person is resurrected from the dead, they are neither married nor given in marriage anymore, BECAUSE they cannot die anymore. What is it about the fact that because we cannot die anymore that leads to the lack of a need for marriage in Heaven?  Christ compared a Biblical marriage as one where the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church.  “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25 That is what is portrayed Biblically as the premise for a Godly, loving marriage here on earth, one in which the husband lays down his life for his bride, dies to himself and his own selfish ambitions, sacrifices for her, and loves her, and in return, the wife, like the church of Christ, seeks to honor, respect, love, cherish and obey her spouse out of the love that he pours out upon her, “She does him [husband] good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”Proverbs 31:12. It is this dying to ourselves concept that we see portrayed in this example of marriage.  Therefore, if we have been resurrected with Christ in Heaven there is no longer the need for the mediocre earthly example of marriage that we have on earth to portray Christ’s love for the church.  For we will be instead living the perfectness of what the true marriage relationship was ultimately meant to showcase; Christ and his bride, together forever in holy matrimony, “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”  Revelation 19:7-9  Marriage is no longer needed because it will be fulfilled completely through Christ and his relationship with the church in Heaven.  So my thoughts to those confused on who will be matched up with whom in all of eternity, it really won’t matter.  We will be so filled with the love of Christ as our bridegroom and us as the resurrected church, the most beautiful bride, that we will have no need for spousal love; for Christ’s love will fill every aspect of that love that we need and experience here on earth; just as I believe wholeheartedly that both of my grandparents are experiencing right now.
Just keep livin!!

 
 
 
 
 
  • Guest
    Jessica Sunday, February 19, 2017

    In my studies on the subject I have come to believe that while we won't be married because our marriage to Christ will be enough, we will know our spouse and our good memories will remain. Of course we will love everyone but we will everyone uniquely and infinitely and our relationship with our spouse although lacking earthly intimacy will be better and more complete than we could have imagined on earth.

  • Guest
    belly Friday, February 10, 2017

    (I'm remarried previous widow) The bible says no one will take a bride or be given as a bride. Meaning no one will GET married in heaven. So, perhaps we ARE married in heaven. Based on that thought: As for remarried widow/widowers, if there is marriage in heaven, they will be with their most recent spouse. When a person remarries, they terminate their previous marriage. Like a divorce. The death of the spouse doesn't end a marriage, but the new marriage does. Forsake all others!! dead or alive!!. So, if your want to be with your spouse in heaven, don't remarry after they die.

  • Guest
    Regina Thursday, September 17, 2015

    end. we had a 9months relationship, We were known for long time and we promised we will be together for ever but he has always had a drinking problem all his life.. because his drinking habit became so much this made us always have misunderstanding and I quarreled with him and humiliated and i made him realize that his bad habit was hurting me, I wanted him to change. i wanted him to be a good guy, i tried to change him but nothing was working out this made us to departed from each other, until one day i heard about a spell caster called Great zula , i tried his love spell and definitely it worked out perfectly for me, it never took time for the spell to start working, after some few days my lover came to me and wanted us to start our relationship again, our lover is so tight now that nothing can brings us apart, and his drinking habit stopped entirely, this love spell from greatzula@yahoo.com is wonderful,

    Regina ERNEST.

  • Guest
    Ell Wednesday, July 24, 2013

    Have you ever read "Heaven is for Real" ? It's about a little boy who clinically died but "came back" and he saw his grandpa and sister who had been a miscarriage. People had wings. He was only four so they asked him questions that they knew he would never know the answer unless he had really been there. It's an amazing story. Everyone will be about 35 years old at their oldest in heaven.

  • Guest
    Anonymous Friday, September 14, 2012

    Jessica i am so sorry for the loss of your Grandfa...

    Jessica i am so sorry for the loss of your Grandfather and Grandmother.... but you know it is a true testament to love that one can not live without the other.... how priceless. My Grandparents have been together for 61 years.... not all happy. But yet together! What a blessing for them to be true to their faith and each other for so many years. I Pray that love for you and Ryan.Tammy CP: SherryLynnRobinson

  • Guest
    Davita Friday, September 14, 2012

    Jessica...I don't know you...but I think we co...

    Jessica...I don't know you...but I think we could be great friends. I, for the life of me, can't remember how I stumbled across this blog...but I'm glad I did!

  • Guest
    Kris Hurford Sunday, September 16, 2012

    What a wonderful example of marriage your grandpar...

    What a wonderful example of marriage your grandparents were! Heaven is all about God, not us. I don't believe we will be reunited with past loves in that way and it won't matter because our "role" in Heaven will be to worship God in all his glory, not worry about who was married to who.

  • Guest
    Abel Thursday, September 20, 2012

    But if you believe, as do I, that marriage relatio...

    But if you believe, as do I, that marriage relationships continue in the next life, then you've got a dilemma on your hands.

  • Guest
    Jess+the Mess Thursday, September 20, 2012

    That would be problem Abel, I guess your wives can...

    That would be problem Abel, I guess your wives can duke it out for your hand in marriage when you all get there:-) You should post on that, I would be interested in reading your take and mg's take on that concept!

  • Guest
    Mari Cooper Monday, October 22, 2012

    Yes! In the Old Testament, when a person died, the...

    Yes! In the Old Testament, when a person died, the biblical writers said he was "gathered to his people" (cf. Gen. 25:8; 35:29; 49:29; Num. 20:24; Judg. 2:10). In 2 Samuel 12, when David's infant child died, David confidently said, "I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me" (v. 23). David evidently expected to see the child again--not just a nameless, faceless soul without an identity, but that very child.The New Testament indicates even more clearly that our identities will remain unchanged. While sharing the Passover meal with His disciples, Christ said, "Take this [cup] and divide it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes" (Luke 22:17-18). Christ was promising that He and His disciples would drink the fruit of the vine together again--in heaven. Elsewhere Jesus makes a similar, but even more definite, promise: "Many will come from east and west, and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 8:11).Furthermore, Moses and Elijah appeared with Christ on the Mount of Transfiguration. Even though they died centuries before, they still maintained a clear identity (Matt. 17:3)--Peter, James, and John evidently recognized them (v. 4), which implies that we will somehow be able to recognize people we've never even seen before.All the redeemed will maintain their identity forever, but in a perfected form. We will be able to have fellowship with Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Samuel, Moses, Joshua, Esther, Elijah, Elisha, Isaiah, Daniel, Ezekiel, David, Peter, Barnabas, Paul, or any of the saints we choose. For that to be possible, we must all retain our individual identities, not turn into some sort of generic beings.Describing the Lord's appearing and the resurrection of the saints who have died, Paul writes, "Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord" (1 Thess. 4:17).Paul's purpose in writing was to comfort some of the Thessalonians who evidently thought their dying loved ones would miss the return of Christ. He says in verse 18, "Comfort one another with these words." The comfort comes from the prospect of reunion. Little comfort this would be if in the reunion we could not even recognize one another. But Paul's promise that we will all be "together" forever implies that we shall renew fellowship with all whom we have known.We will be reunited not only with our own families and loved ones, but also with the people of God from all ages. In heaven we will all be one loving family. The immense size of the family will not matter in the infinite perfection of heaven. There will be ample opportunity for close relationships with everyone, and our eternity will be spent in just that kind of rich, unending fellowship.If you're worried about feeling out of place in heaven, don't. Heaven will seem more like home than the dearest spot on earth to you. It is uniquely designed by a tender, loving Savior to be the place where we will live together for all eternity and enjoy Him forever--in the fullness of our glorified humanity.Is it any wonder that the psalmist said, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints" (Ps. 116:15)?Adapted from John MacArthur, The Glory of Heaven (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 1996), 138-41.

  • Guest
    Mari Cooper Monday, October 22, 2012

    Yes! In the Old Testament, when a person died, the...

    Yes! In the Old Testament, when a person died, the biblical writers said he was "gathered to his people" (cf. Gen. 25:8; 35:29; 49:29; Num. 20:24; Judg. 2:10). In 2 Samuel 12, when David's infant child died, David confidently said, "I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me" (v. 23). David evidently expected to see the child again--not just a nameless, faceless soul without an identity, but that very child.The New Testament indicates even more clearly that our identities will remain unchanged. While sharing the Passover meal with His disciples, Christ said, "Take this [cup] and divide it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes" (Luke 22:17-18). Christ was promising that He and His disciples would drink the fruit of the vine together again--in heaven. Elsewhere Jesus makes a similar, but even more definite, promise: "Many will come from east and west, and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 8:11).Furthermore, Moses and Elijah appeared with Christ on the Mount of Transfiguration. Even though they died centuries before, they still maintained a clear identity (Matt. 17:3)--Peter, James, and John evidently recognized them (v. 4), which implies that we will somehow be able to recognize people we've never even seen before.All the redeemed will maintain their identity forever, but in a perfected form. We will be able to have fellowship with Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Samuel, Moses, Joshua, Esther, Elijah, Elisha, Isaiah, Daniel, Ezekiel, David, Peter, Barnabas, Paul, or any of the saints we choose. For that to be possible, we must all retain our individual identities, not turn into some sort of generic beings.Describing the Lord's appearing and the resurrection of the saints who have died, Paul writes, "Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord" (1 Thess. 4:17).Paul's purpose in writing was to comfort some of the Thessalonians who evidently thought their dying loved ones would miss the return of Christ. He says in verse 18, "Comfort one another with these words." The comfort comes from the prospect of reunion. Little comfort this would be if in the reunion we could not even recognize one another. But Paul's promise that we will all be "together" forever implies that we shall renew fellowship with all whom we have known.We will be reunited not only with our own families and loved ones, but also with the people of God from all ages. In heaven we will all be one loving family. The immense size of the family will not matter in the infinite perfection of heaven. There will be ample opportunity for close relationships with everyone, and our eternity will be spent in just that kind of rich, unending fellowship.If you're worried about feeling out of place in heaven, don't. Heaven will seem more like home than the dearest spot on earth to you. It is uniquely designed by a tender, loving Savior to be the place where we will live together for all eternity and enjoy Him forever--in the fullness of our glorified humanity.Is it any wonder that the psalmist said, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints" (Ps. 116:15)?Adapted from John MacArthur, The Glory of Heaven (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 1996), 138-41.

  • Guest
    Anonymous Thursday, January 31, 2013

    from my understanding there is no jealousy in heav...

    from my understanding there is no jealousy in heaven...im thinking that people who get married more than once will be reunited and live together in heaven without being jealous to each other.

  • Guest
    Cricket and Keith Saturday, March 30, 2013

    I believe when we die we will continue to be in th...

    I believe when we die we will continue to be in the family we raised here on earth. How it works out if you married a widower or widow I have no idea. What I do know is ; in the end all things will be made right by God.

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