familypic
 
JessPlusMess

Limited Edition

Autographed Copy

Sunlight Burning at Midnight a memoir by Jessica Ronne

 

Subscribe to Blog

Your Name:
Your Email:

Search

Just some random, irrelevant, humorous, and hopefully inspiring musings on life, love, faith, widowhood, remarriage, adoption, blended families, caring for a handicapped child, mothering seven children, chickens, cooking, grief, over-coming grief, and everything else in between. Just Keep Livin!!

Void of Facebook and Microwaves

  • Font size: Larger Smaller
  • Subscribe to this entry
  • Print

I mentioned before that our move to Tennessee was very intentional.  Early on in our marriage Ryan and I sat down and discussed how we wanted our life to look and feel, our marriage, our children, and priorities for our family.  This conversation included questions such as, how do we want to raise our children?  What does that look like in terms of discipline and this sense of entitlement kids seem to have today?  How are we going to model this life of simplicity for them?  What is our highest goal in searching out this sort of life?   It boiled down to this; we wanted to strip away the stuff that the world dangles as the ONLY way to live, the pressures, the vortex of entertainments, the wants and desires masquerading as needs, a modern day inability to sit and be still with one’s own thoughts or feelings, and a 1st world drive that often swallows inner peace in one big gulp.

We have discovered through stepping away from the noise, the dizzying madness that commercialism touts as a superior way to live, we have gained more meaningful and intimate relationships with one another, which in our reality as a blended family amounts to a significant amount of work, I believe, to even come close to getting this new found reality somewhat correct.   I desired to embrace this idea of growing closer to one another, especially connecting on a deeper level with my adopted children, but I had to incorporate  concrete decisions into my life because there are multiple distractions vying for my attention as a wife, friend, aspiring writer, blogger, and mom of seven.  Here are a few adjustments I have personally made to intentionally grow closer to my husband and my children.  


1.     Facebook. This is by far the biggest decision I made and it was embarrassingly difficult to follow through with.  I erased the Facebook app on my phone, no big deal, right? Wrong. Now what in the world was I going to do if I had two seconds of boredom while pumping gas?  I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook to begin with.  I hate what a time suck it is, I hate that there is this obsessive need to know what’s going on with everyone at all times, I hate that people in the publishing industry have said to me, “In order to get published, you need to market yourself and this includes Facebook.”  In numerous ways it has harmed our society and families in indescribable ways because there is no legitimate reason to be all up in everyone’s business 24 hours a day, but there I am, on it, engaging with it, despite my better judgment at times.  I decided I was sick of being a slave to Facebook at every waking moment and my phone was the biggest culprit in this aspect.  Waiting in the carpool line, bored, check Facebook.  Clerk taking too long at Walmart, check Facebook, family night at a park, check Facebook.  “Mommy, mommy look at me on the swing!” not nearly as  exciting as the woman I haven’t seen in 25 years rant about her ex-husband and what a scum bag he is, right? Needless to say, I deleted the app on my phone and it has been incredibly freeing.  I’ve mentioned this before and I’ll say it again, I will probably not be a life longer on Facebook.  I have too many issues with it.  

2.    I got rid of our microwave and our Kitchen Aid, and all sorts of other dumb little gadgets that were never used.  I know, I’ll get grief about the Kitchen Aid but I didn’t use it, EVER.  Kneading bread is therapeutic for me, and I didn’t want to give up this highly enjoyable activity to a dough paddle.  In doing this, (and I am a woman who enjoys being in the kitchen) I’ve noticed that cooking has become a family affair.  The girls love to help out, peeling apples, kneading bread, stirring batter, and because we’ve eliminated so many of these “helpful devices,” I find I have a significant amount of time bonding with my children while teaching them certain skills.  


3.    I gave up my gym.  My wonderful sanctuary of peace and strength while rocking out to Bon Jovi’s, It’s my life.  I gave it up for a 30 minute hike with my husband, alone, most nights after dinner, up and down hills and crevices, where we reconnect with one another and talk about the day.  Also in giving up my gym, I forfeited this false sense of control I was holding onto instead of trusting God’s headship over my life, see Testosterone Filled Female.

4.    Ryan and I have both consciously incorporated the kids in activities that we enjoy.  For example, I love to crochet and craft, (and cook) he loves to fish and wander around our property looking for snakes, these are things that are admittedly more relaxing to do alone but we’ve found that we are able to enjoy these activities with greater frequency if we are willing to involve our children’s interest in them as well.  What used to be a once a month activity, becomes a weekly activity if the kids are split between two parents, both engaging them in separate activities.


5.    Finally, lately after the girls have showered, they’ve asked me to braid their hair before bed because they like to wake up to curly hair in the morning.  Such a simple thing that takes 15 minutes or so but I’ve found that it’s a meaningful way to connect with each of them through communication and touch - sounds like just about every other female in the world, communication and touch :-)


Just keep livin!!

Tagged in: Homemaking life marriage
  • Guest
    Grammie & Papa Thursday, September 19, 2013

    I agree that Facebook is a time waster, but that seems to be the only way I get to see pictures of our grandkids and hear about their lives. The extended family would like to be able to connect too!

  • Jessica Ronne
    Jessica Ronne Friday, September 20, 2013

    Looking forward to your visit in a few weeks!

  • Guest
    grandma holly Thursday, September 19, 2013

    Sounds good Mess,I agree that Facebook can be way to much of a time waster,but I enjoy seeing photos,and especially sharing faith.I have found I really enjoy writing letters,and sending cards during my healing. Miss you, too bad we can't be pie bakers together

  • Jessica Ronne
    Jessica Ronne Friday, September 20, 2013

    I would love to bake pies together.

  • Please login first in order for you to submit comments

Latest Blogs

Adored {and a giveaway!}
Another book review coming from Mabel Grace. She really enjoys the spotlight (shocking, I know), and loves participating in these reviews on mom’s blog. Lindsay Franklin’s Adored devotional book for young women, was another perfect opportunity for her to showcase how relevant these books are for a young women like herself.     Hi, my name is Mabel. I am here to tell you about an amazing book that helped me with a few things that I am not very good at, well actually not at all. What I mean is that I am not good with patience. The book that I am talking to you about is called Ado...
Continue Reading...
Pizza Dough Tutorial {for a good hearty dough and a good hearty laugh!}
This past Sunday morning, a morning draped in hazy weariness due to the time change the night before, a morning where all the Ronnes were moving just a tad bit slower than usual, a morning like so many of our Sunday mornings where we gather around the table to eat cinnamon rolls, and drink coffee, and I make pizza dough for our traditional Sunday night pizza party.  A morning where I stood in the kitchen at around 10:00 am and realized my house was eerily quiet.   I glanced outside and noticed a few children playing.  I peeked down the stairwell and into the basement where I h...
Continue Reading...
Seeking Simplicity One Seed at a Time {and a giveaway!}
In the last post I detailed my acknowledgement of a social media addiction and the specific steps I have been taking to clear my head.  As these tangible steps have been put into practice, I’ve noticed a fogginess lifting.  I used to contribute the airheadedness (for lack of a better word) to the fact that I have 8 children, and I’m sure this does play a small role, but I do believe social media anxiety has also played a significant role.  Now that my head is clear(er), I find I have time to reinvest in hobbies I haven’t had time for in months or maybe years – such as reading re...
Continue Reading...
Computers, Tablets, Phones OH MY! Help for the addiction.
As a newbie writer I’m repeatedly told that no one will ever read my words if I don’t have a platform, but as a person, I’m not really into the platform concept!  I’m extremely introverted. I get all bunched up in knots if someone doesn’t agree with me or like me anymore.  I don’t so much mind sharing pieces of my life with the world, but I do mind when strangers begin to throw rocks at my words or my family because they don’t agree with something or they are simply in a pattern of self loathing and decide to take it out on me. I do participate in the online world in a pretty large...
Continue Reading...
Love and Loss {And a Giveaway!]
The baby remains absent And grandma starts chemotherapy And the “C” word enters our children’s vocabulary once again Along with the “D” word in regards to their unknown sibling And our eyes spill in response to their tears And children still starve And that woman still aches for a loving spouse And girls are raped again and again And that is the reality of what we call life. And that is why our hearts ache for something purer And bigger And more beautiful We ache for more We need more We yearn for a hereafter Where all the pain is gone And every tear is wiped from our eyes Our hearts screa...
Continue Reading...
PIZZA PARTY!
Anyway…  I needed to do some soul searching due to the information bombardment and what I felt like it was doing to my soul as it was not only sucking me dry mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, it was depriving my family of me – present, engaged, fully in tune me – which isn’t good.  It’s not good for me, and it’s not good for you either. I took stock as I so often do.  I thought about how the information was feeling overwhelming and causing me to be anxious about life which in reality I really shouldn’t be anxious about because we’re all good. We’re healthy thriving peopl...
Continue Reading...
Follow Your Heart {And a Giveaway!}
I have four beautiful daughters ranging in age from 12 on down to 2: Mya, Mabel, Jada, and Annabelle.  Four hearts that I’ve been entrusted to nurture and care for. Four young ladies with strong wills and lots of estrogen. On the one hand, I love having four daughters.  I love watching them learn life skills and grow into their own personalities. I love crafting together and thinking about our future adventures when they’re grown; meeting up somewhere fun to shop till we drop or Ryan and I watching the grandbabies for the weekend so that they can get away with their husbands - goofy...
Continue Reading...
Brave and Beautiful.
One of the best aspects of being a blogger (even a very part time blogger) are the opportunities I have to review new book releases, and I am so excited about this recent opportunity to review Brave Beauty a devotional by Lynn Cowell; a beautiful inspirational book for the young girl in your life.  Brave Beauty encourages spiritual truths that girls of all ages need to hear and be reminded of on a consistent basis. Truths such as the appeal of inner beauty, boldly living your faith, being a friend to those in need, and putting your trust in God. Cowell gently guides the reader, chapter b...
Continue Reading...
Hope Prevails
I walked into the ultrasound room and felt the complete absence of warmth. No beauty relieved the coldness, no picture of a mother holding a child or a sunset over the water. Nothing to remind those who nervously waited of the potential for joy within the world. A large, heavyset woman poked with her stubby fingers at my thin, slightly rounded body. As the silence continued to descend, the air thick­ened with unspoken thoughts. I looked at this doctor, the expert I had been sent to, repeatedly trying to catch her eye, to shake her unmovable countenance. I wanted to see a glimpse of understandi...
Continue Reading...
Mother's Day Sale and Interview
Just a few items for consideration as you go about your week.   First - In honor of all of the wonderful mothers, grandmothers, and motherly figures in the world, I'm offering a Buy One / Get One 1/2 off sale on all autographed copies of Sunlight Burning at Midnight ordered here on the blog and also at Facebook/jessplusthemess.  It's the perfect time to buy one for yourself and then gift another to that special someone in your life. This sale will be honored all the way through to Mother's Day - May 14.  If you'd like the books sent to different ad...
Continue Reading...