familypic
 
JessPlusMess

Limited Edition

Autographed Copy

Sunlight Burning at Midnight a memoir by Jessica Ronne

 

Subscribe to Blog

Your Name:
Your Email:

Search

Just some random, irrelevant, humorous, and hopefully inspiring musings on life, love, faith, widowhood, remarriage, adoption, blended families, caring for a handicapped child, mothering seven children, chickens, cooking, grief, over-coming grief, and everything else in between. Just Keep Livin!!

Sex On A Stick

  • Font size: Larger Smaller
  • Subscribe to this entry
  • Print


I handed my two boys sex on a stick the other day; at least that’s what it felt like.  Recently Ryan and I have been chatting with some parents and researching when exactly is the appropriate age to talk to our children about their bodies and more importantly, “the birds and the bees” - apparently we’re behind schedule. Blame it on remarriage, or the seven kids, or just the busyness of life, but whatever it was we needed to get on the ball with this subject.  According to most of the parents we talked to and the information we gathered these conversations should have begun at around 7 years old. Reluctantly we have accepted this. We owned up to the fact that we had to address some of these very delicate subjects with our firstborn children soon and as we reasoned to ourselves; better late than never.  

Firsts things first, I was put on the task of finding an appropriate book for the boys.  I went to a Christian bookstore and found one book on a boy’s changing body but we were after something a little more substantial - we wanted the sex aspect of it all as well.  If we were “going there” with them, we were going all the way, shooting for a home run so to speak.  I found another book that was on the New York Seller’s bestselling list and it was recommended for ages 7 and up and had reviews from parents who had even read it to their toddlers. I thought, if these parents are reading it to their toddlers it has to be pretty tame; however, I have to admit I would rather read a sex book to my three year old than my ten year old.   The book also featured cartoon like drawings for all of the illustrations, and I preferred that over anything resembling a real live human being, my own personal comfort zone I suppose.  I ordered it, and we began to amp up the boys for a very special book that was going to arrive soon that would help them understand the changes that they would be experiencing with their bodies as they aged.  As we would talk they would walk away rolling their eyes, and Ryan and I would burst out giggling acting like we were the naïve, innocent ones about to have this whole new world opened up to us!  

 The big day finally arrived, the book came, and we opened it up slowly.  I glanced over at my husband whose eyes were bulging out of his head as he looked down at what appeared to be about the halfway point of the book and staring back at him was a cute drawing of a buck naked little girl and an equally cute drawing of a buck naked little boy and bonus - they had all of their little buck naked parts pointed out with descriptive arrows detailing the scientific terms. He, Ryan, immediately brought the book into the dining room and muttered something about how his boys weren’t going to read something that taught them about vulvas.  I gulped, and then said quietly,” Honey, we are trying to teach them about their bodies and sex so they probably do need to see some sort of illustration describing what the parts are.”  He unwillingly agreed. 

 I recognize that neither one of us was quite ready for this conversation; if any parent can ever truly be ready for this, and we were both in a state of shock that we had actually reached this stage of parenting already.  It seemed, at times, that they were still our cute little buck naked babies but they weren’t, they were here at this age and we needed to be responsible and start to teach them before they received their education in private from an unapproved source, such as a teenage boy introducing them to Playboy or even worse, the world wide web of every indulgence you can fathom.  Our goal, as parents, is to be honest with them, as honest as possible about our shortcomings, our failures, and our victories – even in the area of sex.  They are not to that point, but they are to the point of needing some honest, heartfelt information from the two people on earth who were given the responsibility of training and teaching  them - even in this awkward area.  

Our plan was to give them the book to read together and then individually discuss any questions or comments that they had about what they read. So the moment arrived.  I was a nervous wreck and could hardly even look either boy in the eye as I motioned to their father to “get the book.”  He retrieved the prized possession and then in a very authoritative voice said something along the lines of, “Remember boys, we ordered this book for you, well, it’s here, and we’d like you to read it together and then we’ll talk about it later” and with that the book was handed over.  In that one moment I felt like I was completely stripping them of their innocence and their childhood and exposing them to the world’s deepest, darkest secrets.  It was also in that moment that I realized it was never meant to be a deep, dark secret; we ruined it, not me and Ryan “we” but we as humanity. We turned one of the most precious gifts God gave a marriage into this deep, dark secret because of our sin.  It was never meant to be that way.  It was instead meant to be a beautiful outpouring of intimacy expressed between a man and a woman and if we, as their parents, could start here with being honest, perhaps, just perhaps, we could continue to have open, honest dialogs through the hard years where temptations would be raging in their naïve hearts and minds and their souls being bombarded with this porn laden, sex ridden, no holds bar society that we are attempting to raise them in.  Maybe, just maybe, with the help of this book, our commitment to each other and to them, and a whole lot of prayer, we could beat this unhealthy, sick, and straight from the pit of hell agenda that the Devil has for our kids (and your kids!) and their shameful perspective on their bodies and their sexuality.  Maybe, just maybe, we got this:-)

Just keep livin!!



Tagged in: parenting sex

Latest Blogs

Easiest Cookies Ever
These are the easiest cookies you will ever make and shh... don't tell your kids, but they're good for you too!    1 cup almond butter 1/2 cup maple syrup  1 egg   Mix the first three ingredients together with a spoon or in a mixer.  Add 1/2 - 1 cup dark chocolate chips.  Bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes.     
Continue Reading...
Go Play!
“Aghhh, I sighed, frustrated again at how much work all of the kids were during these days without school. I didn’t understand how they could complain of boredom so often. We had purchased this beautiful property in the middle of nowhere on 30 acres of land, the river in the backyard, with the expectation that our children would spend their days romping in the fields, building forts, playing tag and hide and seek and whatever else they were able to convince one another to play, but that wasn’t generally the case.  Usually they were inside belly aching about how bored they were. I returne...
Continue Reading...
Easy One Bowl Cookies
Here's a fantastic go to cookies recipe that can be adapted in many ways.  This makes about 2 dozen cookies and they're almost guilt free as I've been able to replace many of the not so healthy ingredients with healthier ones.  Enjoy!      2 sticks of butter softened 1/2 cup maple syrup or 1 cup sugar http://www.greatrivermilling.com/organic-pancake-waffle-mixes/ 1 cup brown sugar 2 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla 2 cups Great River Organic Milling Bread Flour Blend with oats.http://amzn.to/2F46IOg 1 tea baking soda 1 tea salt 1/2 tea baking powder 1-2 cups dark chocolat...
Continue Reading...
Winter Walk
I glanced to the left and recognized a spattering of houses and to the right – nothing but naked branches swaying in the stagnant air. I leaned into the vacancy and began moving, one foot in front of the other – the vicious cold biting my face and freezing the tears as they fell. I walked in penance for whatever grave sin I had committed – a sin which had led to a recent life of so much pain and heartache. I knew that surely if my husband held the strength to wage war against numerous rounds of poison, and my son had the strength to defy the proclamations of death voiced against him, and my c...
Continue Reading...
In Search of Snow and Fun!
A few days ago we told the kids that we had a surprise for them and to pack their bags for some fun! They were excited – some of them handle surprises better than others (my bios become highly suspicious – like their mother - whatever; it’s character building), whereas, Ryan’s bios become the happiest clan of children in the whole wide world! There’s nothing they like better than a fun time and man, when they envision a good time, they go big. Ryan and I were craving snow and worked our destination around this desire, and so off to the Smoky Mountains we went – more specifically off to Gatlin...
Continue Reading...
Grab Em and Go Waffles.
Alrighty!    Here are the waffles that we make ALL THE TIME at the Ronne house.  Our kids are up and at em early - 6:00 a.m. early, which about made me die when we first moved to Tennessee, but I have to admit, I've gotten used to the early mornings  (or I'm now 40 and don't require as much sleep).  Whatever it is, these waffles are life savers.  They are easy, filling, one bowl wonders full of nutrition, and the best part of all?  They don't require syrup which saves you (mom and dad) the hassle of needing to clean up (house and kid).  All of my kids lo...
Continue Reading...
The Ronne Recap - 2017.
Me – Mama – Queen Bee. The year began with Ryan and I realizing we needed to pursue a different kind of help for Lucas than we were receiving through the state.  For a number of reasons, which I will explain in great depth someday but not today, we were frustrated with the system and decided to pursue some stability for him with a consistent person and that thought turned into an au pair.  The plan was that she would help with Luke, the other kids, cooking, and cleaning.  Ryan built an apartment in our barn (it’s so cute), and we began the process of searching for the perfect ...
Continue Reading...
Healthy(ish) Cinnamon Rolls
Who doesn't love a warm, gooey cinnamon roll on Christmas morning, and in my opinion, it's even better if you can sneak a little nutrition into them as well!  Here's my take on our favorite Christmas treat.    Enjoy!    Just keep livin!
Continue Reading...
Broken Baby Jesus
“MOM! Annabelle broke baby Jesus again!” one of my children shouted from the family room. I sighed and walked over to my youngest who was gently holding a delicate, ceramic baby Jesus in her small hands, a ceramic baby who had been placed front and center on our coffee table during the holiday season and usually replaced every few days with a fresh application of hot glue because Annabelle had somehow managed to dismember his arm from the rest of his body once again.  “Annabelle, give Mama baby Jesus.  You broke him and Mama needs to fix him - again.” “NO MAMA! ME WANT BABY JESUS!...
Continue Reading...
A New Desk and A Podcast Debut
Remember the old metal table I had my eye on in my husband's junk pile awhile back?    It's not an old metal table anymore! Not only has he masterfully restored it to a beautiful new desk, but he's also masterfully restored an old barn on our property into a quiet space for me to write and practice yoga.  I am loving the solitude of this space when I find time to escape for a few minutes and this is where I was able to chat about life the other day with Hallie Klecker, host of the Life Well Nourished podcast. So much fun, but I should preface with one little thing before ...
Continue Reading...