I find it a privilege to write on Jessica’s new blog. She thought it might be interesting to have me write from a man’s perspective some of the things we deal with on a regular basis. My first “guest appearance” might be somewhat controversial, so feel free to voice your opinion but make sure they are pointed at me and not my beautiful bride:)
I have found it interesting how many people who know us and many who do not, have an opinion about our relationship and our grief process. We have decided to step outside of the box a bit and embrace the blessed life God has granted us. Nobody knows the pain we have endured before we met nor the pain we have shared with each other. There is no doubt we have moved quickly in many aspects of our new life but in no way have we been rash in our decisions. God has guided and often given us slight nudges along our very unusual path. The culture we live in often expects us to mourn forever or at least a year or 2 or 5 or…I guess it depends on who you ask:) Well, we didn’t ask and neither one of us is grieving any longer. That does not mean we didn’t love our late spouses and it doesn’t mean they have been forgotten, it just means we are living our life together without them in it. I know that sounds brutal but the only example I can think of to back our way of thinking from a biblical perspective is Jesus’ death. The advantage Jesus’ disciples had that the rest of us miss out on is He revealed Himself to them later and reminded them that His purpose had been lived out and now they must pick up and move forward to fulfill their own. I can’t recall Jesus ever saying “as soon as you finish mourning my death” you can get started. Jason and Kaci are in the same heaven that Jesus reigns over, so I believe the same is true for us. We are supposed to pick up the pieces and fulfill our own purpose and God has great things planned for us and for all of you if you are willing. We are not to let life pass us by because something awful happened to us no matter how bad it seems in the moment. I believe God has carried me through some horrific events but I have a choice to make: wallow in my grief (which is accepted in our society and often expected) or let God lead me to the next level of life full of new joys and new happiness. I’ll be the first to tell you that the latter is not always the easiest route to take and many feelings are hurt initially but for me, it’s the correct answer and the path less traveled. I have much more to say about this particular subject but it will have to wait until I’m invited to write again, that is, if I’m invited to write again:) Now, as Jess would say…just keep livin!