Limited Edition

Autographed Copy

Sunlight Burning at Midnight a memoir by Jessica Ronne


Subscribe to Blog

Your Name:
Your Email:


Just some random, irrelevant, humorous, and hopefully inspiring musings on life, love, faith, widowhood, remarriage, adoption, blended families, caring for a handicapped child, mothering seven children, chickens, cooking, grief, over-coming grief, and everything else in between. Just Keep Livin!!

Mommy Wars in Western Worlds

  • Font size: Larger Smaller
  • Subscribe to this entry
  • Print


Mommy world in Western culture consists of the ever present, constant, never ceasing, never winning, and ever losing comparisons between moms of all levels, all socio-economic status’s, and all races. Many of these comparisons are related to what a mother is willing to sacrifice -- time, resources, energy, or sanity -- and for what amount of time for their precious offspring.  



Recently on a popular blogger’s page there was an intense battle involving the homeschooling moms versus the non-homeschooling moms. I felt slightly judged (by association) being a non-homeschooling mother by the numerous homeschooling mothers who mostly proclaimed that it is a mother’s job to sacrifice for her children at all times and through homeschooling they were making the ultimate sacrifice whereas the non-homeschooling mothers were more interested in their own selfish desires, like sitting around watching The View and running to the mall every other day.  The non-homeschooling mothers retorted with all sorts of snarky comments about making time for themselves, making time for their marriages, being introverted, not wanting their children around 24/7,and how the social aspect of school was their way of being unselfish and making sure their children didn’t turn out to be social rejects.

Disclaimer – I didn’t actually participate in the online snarkfest, but I internally participated through a few, “this is what I would write” thoughts towards these mysterious mothers in faraway lands.  I’ve learned -- drama is not worth it.  Not even in anonymous internet world.

This isn’t the only scenario of mothers stabbing each other in the back over and over again in the realm of who is the most sacrificial mother in the whole wide world.  It has become an especially prevalent practice with the world wide web where any mom can join any group of moms who will “have her back” in any situation at any time all in the name of desiring the ultimate selfless crown for their particular group.  

And it’s not just the homeschooling moms because the same can be said for breastfeeding mothers.  These moms do seem to know it all when it comes to all facets of mothering, and I knowingly fall into this “sacrificial” category.  I am the mother who is willing and able to breast feed my children well past their first birthdays, and in the process I am obviously making the best and brightest individuals on the planet (please read that as sarcasm). I’ll call myself out on this “sacrifice”.  On one hand, it is sacrificial because breast feeding mothers do need to be a little more conscious about what goes in and out of their bodies, but if they’re staying away from hard core drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol it’s really not that intense of a change, and their babies do need to be fed more often thus allowing for fewer stretches of sleep, but the pros (for me) really outweigh the cons.  I don’t mix bottles, I don’t pack a diaper bag, I don’t spend money on formula, and the biggest bonus ever is that nursing past a certain point can become the most incredible diet plan on the planet.

The reality is that 95% of mothers are willing and able to sacrifice for their child where it works for them.   Breastfeeding.  Vaccinating.  Not vaccinating. Running a child all around town to encourage a particular sport or hobby. Cooking everything from scratch.  Not allowing electronics when the use of electronics sure would make life a whole lot easier.  Growing food.  Homeschooling. Working mothers.   Mothers in school.  Mothers who diligently work on a failing marriage in order to keep their children’s father in the picture and to keep the family intact.  

Mothers are sacrificial to their core beings; however, we can’t each be completely sacrificial in all aspects of our children’s lives and that’s okay. Kids don’t need that.  Mothers who run their children all over town while employed fulltime probably do not have time to grow their own food or make everything from scratch.  Mothers who stay home and send their children to school probably have more time to grow food and make meals from scratch.  We each sacrifice where it works for us and where our convictions lead us, and it always has a little bit to do with selfishness and a little bit to do with selflessness.  We all want the best for our children, and our individual convictions of what that looks like for our personal situations are just a little bit different for each one of us.  

Our end result as moms should not be to raise really good kids.  Our end result should be to raise really good adults and part of accomplishing this important task is to learn how to successfully incorporate what works for us in our families in terms of selfless behaviors and what does not work and then be okay with the moms who do it just a little bit differently than we do.  In this way all mothers will be able to demonstrate valuable life skills to our children about respecting individual differences, and in the process slowly lead them down the path toward successful adulthood (and we’ll probably all like one other a whole lot more).

Just keep livin!

(image credit

  • Guest
    Stephanie Sunday, June 21, 2015

    Great post. I have a 3 year old and 10 month old. The thing that shocked me about motherhood, was the "mommy wars". I've done what I can not to add/fuel the fire. I think parenting is hard enough with spending energy on judging other moms.

Leave your comment

Guest Thursday, March 30, 2017

Latest Blogs

Banana Chocolate Muffins
These are really, really good and really, really addicting so it's a good thing they have some health benefits or I'd feel really, really guilty after eating a few.  I usually make these for the kids breakfast because most days they're up at 6:00 am so they need something easy, filling, and tasty in their bellies. These always do the trick.  Banana Chocolate Muffins 3 ripe bananas. 2 cups flour½ cup maple syrup2 eggs1 tea baking soda1 tea baking powder½ tea salt2 TB coconut oil1 tea vanilla½ cup orange juice. 1 cup dark chocolate chips Mix the first 10 ingredients together. Stir i...
Continue Reading...
Pure Goodness Spaghetti Sauce
3-4 TB olive oil (depends on how much garlic and onions you add). 1 large onion chopped 4-5 TB finely chopped fresh garlic (You can add chopped celery as well if you want) Saute these three ingredients for a few minutes. Add 4 14 ounce cans of quality tomatoes (crushed or whole is fine - I like Carmelina brand) Add as much fresh spinach as the pot will hold. 4 TB Italian seasoning 1/4 cup maple syrup 1/4 cup red wine 2 cups of tomato juice (we make our own) Salt and pepper to taste Simmer all of this on low for an hour or two.  Turn heat off and blend all together with a han...
Continue Reading...
Marriage Pep Talk and a GIVEAWAY!
In my second marriage to Ryan I have valiantly attempted to right the wrongs that I naively produced in the first marital relationship. They say “ignorance is bliss,” and I suppose that I was ignorant the first time around; however, having my eyes wide open through a second opportunity has changed my perspective on life and love. A few of my initial struggles were cemented in my identity as a strong willed, first born, young wife, and often included a lack of respect towards my husband (I knew best, of course!), and one that goes hand in hand with the respect issue, a lack of grace. I usually...
Continue Reading...
Chocolate Chip Almond Butter Delights
This week’s recipe is a spin off of my go to, extremely easy, “I only have 5 minutes to whip something together” dessert. The original recipe called for peanut butter, egg, and sugar. I’ve amped up the health factor by substituting some of the ingredients and adding a few more. My kids love em. Hope you do too. Chocolate Chip Almond Butter Delights. 1 cup almond butter 1 egg ½ cup maple syrup ½ cup pecans ½ cup dark chocolate chips. Mix everything together in a big bowl. Spoon droplets onto a cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes. Just keep livin!
Continue Reading...
Numero Uno Sanity System - THE BIN
At the Ronne homestead we employ many systems in order to maintain some level of functionality for the family and for the parent’s sanity. The bin system is by far the most useful and consistent tool we use as it has been in place from almost day one of our blended family. This is a system that I grew up with (as the oldest of 10 children) and loathed with every cell of my being as a child. Funny how it made its way into my grownup family as well. The bin (or the brown box that I grew up with) is just a plastic container that holds the children’s misdemeanors for the week. The system starts ...
Continue Reading...
Healthier Chicken N` Dumplings
Simmering away and filling the house with deliciousness, my healthier take on a classic - chicken n' dumplings. This version includes bone broth, organic chicken, a plethora of herbs, and lots and lots of fresh veggies. Chicken N' Dumplings5 organic chicken breasts cut into bite sized piecesVariety of fresh veggies (carrots, mushrooms, celery, leeks, even spinach, whatever you have on hand) roughly chopped.Olive oilItalian spiceVege Sal1 tea thymeSalt if you must but the Vege Sal does a great job of seasoning if you let it.Pepper to taste2 cups water6 cups bone broth (or vegetable or chicken b...
Continue Reading...
Chocolate Cheese. Why Not?
Ryan and I enjoyed a wonderful, romantic dinner together on Valentine’s Day.  We don’t have the opportunity to travel far on most holidays or special occasions because of Annabelle, and since we only have two restaurants that we enjoy within about a ten mile radius of our home, Ryan suggested that we hire Mya to take care of Annabelle in the basement while he and I cook together.  We indulged in salad, pasta, bread, and one of our favorite, easy, desserts - dark chocolate cheese.  Sadly, we were too full from all the pasta, bread, and salad to even indulge in our dessert that ev...
Continue Reading...
Weekly Recipe - Healthier Cornbread
  Healthier Cornbread. 1/4 melted butter 1/4 melted coconut oil Mix these two together in a big bowl.   Add 1/4 cup plus 2 TB Maple syrup to the butter/oil mixture. Stir well. Cool this mixture.  Add 2 eggs, 1/2 tea baking soda, and 3/4 cup almond milk to the same bowl. Mix well.  Add 1 cup flour, 1 cup corn meal, 1/2 tea salt.  Mix again. Grease a large cast iron skillet with coconut oil.  Pour mixture into the skillet and bake at 375 for 20 minutes.  Enjoy!   
Continue Reading...
Healthy, Luke Approved Turkey Burgers
As promised, I'm going to attempt to post a weekly Luke approved recipe, and the first one up are these super tasty, super nutritious turkey burgers that we had last night for dinner. This is my new favorite meal since giving up (for the majority of the time) red meat, well, this and the close cousin of the turkey burger, the chicken burger. In most of these recipes you will notice that I tend to pack as much hidden nutrition as humanly possible into the dish  because Luke is quite texture sensitive (if it's too hard (carrots and most veggies) or to...
Continue Reading...
 These past few weeks have been exhausting as a gigantic tidal wave of anger, despair, and helplessness has blasted upon humanity, invading our lives and our homes, crushing societies and towns and social media morale as the wave pounds and beckons and taunts us through the pale white glare, the Apple held firmly in our grasp, our tongues panting for all of the sweet drops of nectar, but as the story of old forewarns, the Apple is not always what it seems.  The wave continues its relentless, unforgiving pursuit, but we refuse to move or turn away lest we miss something! NO! We must k...
Continue Reading...