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Sunlight Burning at Midnight a memoir by Jessica Ronne

 

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Just some random, irrelevant, humorous, and hopefully inspiring musings on life, love, faith, widowhood, remarriage, adoption, blended families, caring for a handicapped child, mothering seven children, chickens, cooking, grief, over-coming grief, and everything else in between. Just Keep Livin!!

Let Us Be Thankful

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In the spirit of being completely haywire in my posts lately, a Halloween post on Monday, a month after the actual holiday, I thought I’d continue with what I’ve got going by posting a Thanksgiving post today, a week after the actual event occurred.  I had this list swirling about in my mind for a bit, specific things that I am thankful for right now, in this moment, where I am in life. 
1.    My husband.  I am thankful that I have a healthy spouse, especially throughout the pregnancy.  This is something most people take for granted until walking through pregnancy with an extremely ill spouse.  I do not take this very simple, yet extremely profound gift for granted, or for that matter the gift of a spouse to walk beside me on this journey. He has been my rock through these last few weeks, and I know that’s not necessarily the norm.   I warned him prior to the pregnancy that  I would not be a pleasant person for the first few months.  I do not glow during this blessed event, I do not smile very often during this time, in fact, I offer very little grace or elegance during these first few months, and he took it all in, agreed to the plan nonetheless, and has been nothing short of wonderful even going so far as to let me sleep in during the week while he gets up at 6:30, gets 5 children ready for school, changes a 9 year olds dirty diaper, and then drives them all 30 minutes to school.  I am thankful for this man who is laying down his life for me right now.
2.    Moments of Ick.  This has ironically been the easiest pregnancy of the five that I’ve had (funny after the spiel I just laid out concerning my lack of grace through it all, huh? )  I don’t know if it’s due to having a healthy husband this time around or having older, more self - sufficient children, or less stress, but I have had not only moments where I feel pretty good but entire days where I feel pretty decent.  Nothing sounds great to eat, I do have a constant ick in my mouth, and I’m always tired, but I’ve ironically learned to treasure those moments of extreme ick because they do give me a sense of peace that I am pregnant and hormonal. 
3.    Pandora.  This brings such a calm to my soul whether I’m listening to Christmas Carols while baking or Civil Wars Radio while resting, or intense, pump it out work out music while I’m walking, I’m thankful for the gift of music.
4.    The Sun.  I am thankful that I see the sun so often in Tennessee, a very different reality from the one I left in Michigan. 
5.    Friends, far and near.  I’m thankful for the new relationships I’m establishing here in Tennessee, and I’m thankful for my dear friends back in Michigan.  There is a sort of weeding process that occurs with a move and some of my former relationships have fallen by the wayside but some of them, interestingly enough, the move has only intensified our desire for companionship and conversations with one another.  For those of you, I am thankful.  You have kept me somewhat sane and grounded through the process. I’m thankful that our relationship has not only deepened but has actually prospered with the miles between us. 
6.    Chrissy, Luke’s dear friend and aid at school.   Chrissy, you have NO idea how much peace of mind you have brought to my life.  Your job in Luke’s classroom may seem insignificant to some but for me, knowing that Luke not only has his physical needs cared for on a daily basis but that you love him and care for him as if he were your own has made this whole transition to Tennessee 5 million times easier.  Thank you Chrissy, you have been such a blessing to me over the past few months. 
7.    Facebook – Although this modern invention often irritates me to no end, the constant drama posted and the obsessive compulsive nature of needing to know what’s going on with everyone at all times, I am especially thankful now that I’ve moved away from friends and family that I am able to connect with people on a consistent basis and that they are able to stay involved in our life to the extent that I allow it.
8.    My children, what a hodgepodge of personalities, gifts, struggles, and joys in these seven human beings.  I am thankful for them, what they bring to my life, but more so, I am thankful for how they are molding me, painfully often, to become more Christ like.  Through them I learn, literally, “more of you, less of me” more of them, more of HIM, less of me.  That’s the lesson the Master always seeks to impart, and he uses these 7 souls to constantly inscribe it upon my heart.
9.    My writing.  Writing enables me to think and expand my thoughts and determine how and why I feel about a certain issues.  Writing keeps me connected to humanity, it allows me a venue of exploration and dreaming, and it’s incredibly affordable therapy. 
10.    A Dream.  I’m thankful for the ability to dream.  I’m thankful for the dream Ryan and I have for our life and for our family.  “Without a dream the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18).   I’m thankful that God gives us dreams and then speaks to our hearts, softly and unpretentiously, guiding and directing us, providing  wisdom throughout it all, this life, our children, their pains, their joys, our livelihoods, he is faithful in revealing the next step at just the right time; He is faithful in nurturing the dream.  

Just keep livin!!

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