I’m slowly but surely figuring out how to be a writer, a mom, and a wife, (amongst many other ambitions I have) and I’m discovering that it’s a very fine line most days. For those who don’t know, I’ve enjoyed blogging for about six years now, on and off, starting in 2007 with a Carepage that detailed the story of life with my late husband and four children, specifically our life that involved three years of battling brain cancer. Ryan and I then attempted, unsuccessfully, to have a blog after we met called HighwayofGrace. We enjoyed writing together and many wanted to know how our story evolved after a whirlwind romance, a fast engagement, marriage, and adjusting as a family of 9. I say unsuccessful because first - we didn’t have time for a blog, (weird with 7 kids, huh?) and second, we weren’t always completely truthful in what we wrote; in fact, we were quite untruthful that first year, often bending the truth in ways to portray an image of deep grief when in reality we were feeling very blessed and happy. I believe this “faking” was brought on in part by our society which often encourages wallowing in grief - whatever causes that grief: divorce, death, or pain, to name a few, for an unlimited period of time. For what reason? I’m not exactly sure. To honor the dead? That doesn’t make sense to me. It makes more sense to live my life to the fullest if my objective is to honor the dead. To obtain attention? Now I think we’re getting a bit closer to the objective for some people because as long as they remain in a perpetual state of grief people feel sorry for them and that is a part of our human nature, we want to be noticed for something even if it is a negative something – much like my two toddlers…
Recently as a believer I’ve come to the realization that there is a time to mourn and then there is a time to set aside our mourning for something better. The Bible specifically says, “There is a time to mourn and a time to dance” Ecclesiastes 3:4. Not only are we admonished to put aside our mourning, but we are told Biblically it is a time to celebrate - to dance. Now think about that word, DANCE
. The writer could have used a variety of words as a juxtaposition to mourning such as “there is a time to mourn and a time to eat, “or “there is a time to mourn and a time to clean the house” or “there is a time to mourn and a time to have a chocolate bar” but instead he chose the word DANCE
– a strong word signifying life at the rawest levels for humanity. We dance at celebrations, festivals, and weddings because dancing expresses our human joy at the deepest levels imaginable. To dance is to be free of restraints and people’s opinions or thoughts of us. Dancing is letting go completely, freely, with all that we have and basking in the exhilaration of life. Friedrich Nietzsche, German Philosopher and poet says, “We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” Amen and Amen.
I’ve realized as well, through the encouragement of my husband who actually had this revelation once upon a time, that our job is not to live for the deceased’s honor; it is our job as Christ followers to live for HIS
honor. I began this blog about a year ago and it has been a thrill writing, meeting people in blog world, and enjoying the connections I’ve made. I am extremely thankful for all who read. You bless me incredibly with your kind words and support. I write a blog because I love writing, I love stretching my brain cells to formulate something that borders (loosely) on an intellectual thought that expands beyond that of a ten year old or three year old thought process. I want this blog to give people hope in the midst of life’s storms and an assurance that the storm won’t last forever and often times God’s blessing after the storm far outweighs anything you could ever imagine in the midst of the pain. This blog, I’m hoping, will also assist in my ultimate dream, one of the remaining items on my bucket list and that is to get a manuscript I’ve been working on published. My book begins with journal writings from when I was pregnant with Luke nine years ago and hearing the initial diagnosis that he would not live. For years I thought that was the story and then it progressed into something bigger than I could have ever imagined. It became a story of my late husband’s battle with brain cancer, his death, and then continued with my story of meeting Ryan and three new children. It’s a story of healing, three very different healings: Luke’s healing which was not at all my idea of healing for him, Jason’ s perfect healing which he received in Heaven, and finally, healing for my life, through something bigger and better than I could have ever dreamed or imagined. May we all never stop dancing and above all else I encourage you to…
Just keep livin!!