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Sunlight Burning at Midnight a memoir by Jessica Ronne


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Just some random, irrelevant, humorous, and hopefully inspiring musings on life, love, faith, widowhood, remarriage, adoption, blended families, caring for a handicapped child, mothering seven children, chickens, cooking, grief, over-coming grief, and everything else in between. Just Keep Livin!!

Cocaine and Playboy

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I have a son who is being exposed to things.  Things that really worry me.  Things that I realize he will be exposed to in life, but I’m sure as heck not ready to go down that road with him at eleven years old.  

My son used the word “strip club” the other day. With those words I stopped, dead in my tracks, and said,


 No really, I said, “Where did you hear about strip clubs?” He replied, “Kids at school talk about them.”
I thought, “Where in the world would kids from around here be exposed to strip clubs? We have nothing but Dollar Generals.”   

So I immediately went to his father and said, “YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM.”  

His father agreed to have the conversation soon.  

A few days later this same son jokingly said something about “humping,” and I stopped dead in my tracks again and looked at him in wide eyed wonderment.  I am not at all naïve to what he is potentially being exposed to when he’s at school or what he will be exposed to in the coming years.  I am not naïve to the complete entrapment of evil that the internet, including the porn industry, can hold for our young people and our older people.  

I will not be that mom who refuses to acknowledge the truth involving the life our kids live in. 

I have researched this topic extensively because it frightens me that we are no longer dealing with nudie pictures in a magazine (which is scary enough), but instead we are dealing with hard core sadistic images, often child abuse images, often images of enslaved women and children being made to commit acts against their wills, and these images have the potential to not only destroy an individual, but they also have the potential to destroy every other person in that individual’s life: friends, family, spouse, and children. This industry is a sick, malicious beast from the pit of hell that will absolutely never think twice about engaging our youngsters as pawns in its horrendous desire to suck the life from their very souls.

Sounds brutal but it’s true.  

Last night Ryan and I had a conversation with our son.  A frank conversation about some of the words he’s hearing his friends use.  In the midst of this conversation, he turned to us and said,

“A boy brought a Playboy magazine to school.”  

I couldn’t breathe.  Flashes of holding my newborn baby boy whipped through my mind.  That same little boy learning how to walk and talk.  That same precious child and everything he’s been through in life, and he is now telling me about a Playboy magazine.  This can’t be real.  This child should only associate boobs with a nursing baby, at least that’s how it plays out in my perfect world.  

We talked -- the three of us.  The magazine apparently never left the boy’s backpack, so our son says, and we tend to believe him. His history has proven him to be trust worthy, and his school is strict.  The principal runs that ship like a navy captain.  Our son likes to figure things out.  He enjoys adult conversations and getting mature opinions on issues. He likes to be knowledgeable, and with that knowledge, he tends to make really wise decisions, and so we told him the truth.  We told him about the initial excitement many of these images and conversations could have in the coming years as he matured. We told him, in the same breath, how many of those substances and images have a similar effect on a brain as using cocaine. ( We explained what addictions were and how they can destroy a life.  We talked about how it was going to be hard to be a man of integrity in the coming months and years, but we had faith that he would rise to the challenge because we see that in him, he has integrity, and he has the courage to do the right thing.  We told him we were proud of him and that we loved him and that he could come to us (or just Dad if he’d rather) with any questions he had about anything, and he would never be in trouble for those questions or for things he just needed to talk about. 

He left the room with a sense of calm in his eyes and hopefully a feeling of relief that mom and dad were on his team.  Ryan and I sat there a bit shell shocked, well probably more me than Ryan.  Ryan’s a man, he knows and understands this battle all too well in today’s day and age.  We can only hope and pray that our young son wins the battle within his heart and mind, and as an older man integrity, honor and faith will lessen his load.  That’s our prayer.  


Just keep livin!!

Tagged in: life parenting

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